near death experiences

you know that there's something wrong with a car accident description when the term 'landed' is used.

so, here we are driving a recently purchased toyota MR2 along the winding roads of abbotsford when, well, the rubber left the road. MR2s are only two-passenger vehicles, and there were only two of us in the car at the time....me as the passenger beside someone who is still learning to test the limits of his three-week old car. the limits were broken that day. the beautiful thing about MR2s is that they sit low so that when, say a large rock is side-swiped at high speeds, there's no flipping involved. just some airtime as the impact sends the car twisting in the air, nose down. accidents are surreal moments in life when you know exactly what's going to happen, but can do nothing about it except hope that it ends well. and it did end well for us...the car faired a bit worse, but considering the possibilities....i'm okay with that.

There is a time for everything...

I love writing. I had to prepare a devotion for a youth leader's meeting the other night, and it gave me an opportunity to put together three elements: 1) the verse that has stuck in my head the past few weeks; 2) the fact that i kept coming back to Ecclesiastes while on a solo camping venture to figure my life out; and 3) Sunday morning's sermon on listening to the voice of the Shepherd:

Time is a funny thing. The past few weeks for me has brought up many questions about time. And about timing. Human timing, God’s timing – and the difference between the two. Often when we look back, it’s easy to figure out whether the decisions we make, the actions we take, and the paths we have walked line up with the path God has set for us. Only in hindsight do we truly know whether we have made the right decisions, taken the right actions and patterned our lives within the will of God. However, when we are in the midst of decision-making and action-taking, the question of God’s will is constantly before us. And the question has to be raised: “Am I listening to the voice of the Shepherd?”

I have a difficult time listening to the voice of the Shepherd. I know I should know what he sounds like…I know I should know the voice of my Shepherd, but this world is so full of voices that it’s often difficult to decipher the difference between what I want and what the world wants, from the voice of the one who cares the most for me. And it is most important during those times of decision-making that one needs to be tuned into the voice of the Shepherd, so as not to lose his whisper in the screams of the world.

It is in the silence of nature that I most easily hear that whisper. And it was in solitude that I heard the voice of my Shepherd. More than that, I felt the whisper in my soul. In my gut. And that whisper brought to me such peace in the decision I faced that when the doubts cross my mind (and they do), when the questions come (and they do) and when the frustrating task of having to trust God with an undetermined future is placed before me (constantly), I constantly need to remind myself that yes, I do hear the voice of my Shepherd.

Our task is simply to ask. And then listen. And we will all hear the voice of our Shepherd in the best way he knows we will hear him. And not only must we listen, but we must also obey. Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes 7:13, ‘Notice the way God does things; then fall into line. Don’t fight the ways of God, for who can straighten out what he has made crooked?’

Only the Shepherd knows where the grass is. Our duty is to follow him to it. Whether the path is straight or crooked, our duty is to fall into line. And only then can we feast.

the path i'm on...

Why is it that some people, by the time they're five years old, know exactly what they want to do with their life? Why am I 26 and still figuring it out? As of September, I'll be on a new adventure. Paid youth work didn't stick. It was good...it had it's moments, it's joys, it's frustrations...but ultimately, it didn't stick. It couldn't stick. I can do it and I can make it look good, but the work of youth ministry is not my passion. I have a passion for youth, I've determined that (ha! I do have a passion), but it's not something I want to get paid to do. I don't want it to be an obligation. I want to be involved with youth out of a desire of my heart, not out of a desire from my wallet. Frick. I hope that thought stays in my head. Frick again. What the heck do I do now? I'm pretty confident that I 'fell into line' [see previous post], but it leaves so many unanswered questions. I think that as much as there are people out there who have one objective goal for work, there are others of us who just don't know what to do because either the options are overwhelming, or what we most want to do will cost a fortune or will cost a lot of time. Or all three. Or the thing we want to do most of all is out of our reach because VIA Rail isn't hiring right now. ha. Frick x3.