oh, complacency

I'm trying something new. It's been almost a month since my last post, which is quite distressing and disheartening. I'd like to say that I am uninspired, but I know that's really not true. I've just grown complacent. Lazy. My week has become one of routine. Up at 7:30, work from 8:30 until 5:00, go home or to Susan's, then go to bed. Throw in a Monday night Bible Study and a weekend of pure nothingness + one church service, et voila. C'est ma vie. Oh, complacency.

It's been a long time since I've had a steady 9-5 job, and I'd kind of forgotten what it feels like to be in a routine. But I'd like to say this wasn't intentional. The thing about slipping into a routine is just that -- it's something you slip into. My hill of complacency began with the new year, as I started at this steady job at a print company. Gone are the days of Santa Claus photography, of mornings off and the freedom to do whatever I felt like doing whether it be job-seeking, photography, dreaming, or video games, or nothing. So, down I slid, but gently, so as not to awaken my restless soul. I'd like to say I'm content, and I am, for the most part. But there's that restless side of me that wants to be let out, if it could only break past my accustomed laziness. Emails sit in my inbox, unreplied. Friends await phone calls, undialed. Uncles and youth deserve a visit, unaccomplished. Thoughts demand paper, unwritten.

The to-do list in my mind grows untouched, and I simply sense it's growth, unrestrained. And so, here's what I've decided to do. My lunch break generally consists of an hour sitting behind my computer, diddle-daddling on Facebook, on cbc, on eating my peanut butter and jam sandwich. My new idea, my intention, is to use it wisely, and productively. Perhaps a daily blog will come out of it (don't hold your breath, though). This could even be called an un-Lent. I'll start doing something, dang it. And maybe I'll get somewhere....