joy.

The moment came, and the moment passed. It was a moment filled with pain, anxiety, expectation, relief. And when the moment ended, all that remained was joy -- a moment filled with immense joy. Caleb Allan Mitchell Kok came into this world in the middle of a Monday afternoon with a strong, healthy cry of freedom. Music to our ears.

It is difficult to imagine, before the birth of your child, what life will be like when he's born. All of the planning, purchasing, and parenting tips can only prepare you to an extent, beyond which, everything--everything is new. You can't simply research, compare prices, and then put an order in. It's not like buying a new computer. There is no manual to bring home, no extended warranty, no 24/7 customer service support line. It's you, and a newborn. And to this point in my life, I can imagine no greater joy. There is nothing like lying back, with your child sleeping on your chest, his little body rising and falling with each breath.

Immense joy.

Heart-filling joy.

We know that we are blessed to have a healthy, whole, and (occasionally) happy child. Truly blessed.

the anticipation of things to come

Crib? Check.
Diapers? Check.
Stroller? Check.
Car Seat? Check.
Clothes? Check.
Baby? ...
Baby? ...

No baby yet. While Vancouverites have been counting down the days until Friday, Susan and I have been counting down towards a different sort of event. Five days away from the "official" due date, and all we have to show for it is one enlarged belly and a house full of baby supplies. What began nine months ago as a tiny seed (I'll spare you the details) has now grown full term. Some nights, when I'm lucky and baby co-operates, I can actually watch baby move around in his/her little home, though we have yet to try the Maltesers experiment.

I've been given a lot of advice from fathers lately. 90% of the advice has to do with sleep. "Get your sleep now!" is the running motto of many experienced dads. Meanwhile the other 10% generally ask the question, "Are you ready?" And my answer has consistently been, "We're as ready as we can be." Sure, materially we're ready. All the necessities have been bought. Our spare room is furnished, stocked, and baby-fied. Mentally, I guess we're ready. Prenatal classes are over. I now know the various positions to support my wife through the labour process (and am consequently extremely thankful that I have an external, painless role in the process). But seriously, how can one really be ready for this?

I figure we've got at least 18 years of raising this child before letting her/him explore life free of full-time parental guidance. That's a lot of training, encouraging, paying, challenging, supporting, caring, paying, loving, paying, blessing, and yes, paying. And looking at our culture today, I fear for the world our child will grow up in. We will raise our child knowing God because, honestly, we can see no better way to live life. It has not always been an easy way of life for us (and we are aware it will never be an easy way of life), but it has undoubtedly and always been the most challenging and rewarding. I guess that's one of the joys of being parents, to walk with a child through the challenges and rewards of life, and to experience faith through their eyes.