mirrors. part two.

4:00 am, somewhere in Hamilton

I just watched somebody kick the passenger-side mirror off my car. Frick. Why me? Oh, Swift.

the gears keep slippin'

it's analogy time, boys and girls! it's been a while, but today is actually a good day, so i figured it'd also be a good day to blog since it's not guaranteed to last and i'll need to remember this.

it seems the gears are starting to engage.
they've been slippin' lately.

the gears i speak of are the ones full of facts that you know are true...but are unable to make an impact because they are facts that have brought about unwanted change. they're the kind of facts that would make more sense if you were able to remove yourself completely from a situation and look at it from all possible angles.

the facts have been spinnin' in my head for weeks.
they just haven't engaged.

today it feels like they have, at the very least, brushed against one another and caused a minute shift in positioning. looking back, the facts themselves have never changed....they were there from the beginning. and they've been staring us in the face for months. yet we chose to keep them from engaging. and the longer we held them at bay, the more strain they were under...until a series of (un)fortunate events brought about the needed release of the disengager.

and the clock began ticking again.
and time hit home.

there's that funny word again. time. ha. i smile.

starting over.

ontario has yet to fully feel like home. i know i had to come back to figure out if there is something for me here....a potential future. i know i had to cross one more 'what if' off my list of possibilities, and if i choose not to pursue this path then my future will be as blank as a fresh sheet of 28 lb. Hammermill laser paper. that's some print talk for ya. there's so much in this world that can be done, but i find it hard to figure out where to start and how to make it fit my life. three years in BC didn't reveal my future, but they did help me understand myself more than i had known in my 23 years in Ontario. and that i certainly don't regret. but just when i thought i had some things figured out, they end up being the very things that throw everything off balance and [once again] cause me to refocus. this month will be a month of answer-seeking and decision-making. i've been here before...i can do it again. frick. i wish i could take to heart the things i write in this blog.