justice

a few years ago i heard a speaker talk about the central message of the Old Testament prophecies, as he saw them. not necessarily the specific prophecies that we now understand to be a forth-telling of the coming of Christ, but those that addressed the sins of the Israelites and addressed God's reasonings for allowing them to be sent into exile. it wasn't just the sins of commission...those that the Israelites actively committed (ie. worshipping foreign idols, sexual sin, etc.) but also the sins of omission...those things that the Israelites should have been doing, but weren't. in fact, the speaker suggested that those sins of commission were a result of the Israelites sins of omission (something to think about). what, specifically, were these 'sins of omission'? Not caring for the widow and not caring for the orphan....a lack of justice. ever since i heard him speak, this idea of justice has been swimming around in the back of my mind. as i read the OT prophecies and the words of Christ i would pick up on the theme of justice and understand it even more and remember the words of a speaker i heard a few years back. and it bothered me, but it made sense.

the speaker's name is jim cantelon...i heard him again tonight. he spoke on the same topic. and it still makes sense. this idea of justice in our world and the churches role in the acting out of this idea (or lack of acting it out, as it seems) continues to ring in my ears as it did when i first heard him...and it continues to bother me. it bothers me because i understand his message to be true. it bothers me because i don't know what to do about it. i understand that there is a lack of justice as i walk through the streets of east vancouver. i understand that there is a lack of justice as i talk to a man on the street who has his bed in a garbage bag and who wanders around my car as i come back from hearing a man on a stage talk about justice.

'do you have any smokes?' he asks.
'no, sorry man, i don't smoke,' i reply.

getting in my car, i turn the key and drive away.

i understand. but i still don't know what to do.

i get claustrophobic in christian bookstores

that will be the title for my upcoming bestseller. I Get Claustrophobic in Christian Bookstores. the only problem is that there's only one type of store that will sell it. yup...that's the one. yeesh.

blind faith.

I have trust issues with God (have I said that before?). As much as I know He has my best intentions in mind, it's hard to accept that, especially when my own intentions seem so perfect...or good. Ha. Therein lies the problem, Watson. Okay, I know Sherlock never said that but that whole 'therein' threw me off so I had to make up for it with something. My intentions are just that...my intentions. Which means that it is me who is putting the effort forth because I have led myself to believe that it will be my work that will accomplish my goals. And in that moment...whether that moment is 1 second, 1 day, 1 year...or 1 year and 4 months...I have lost my focus. No, I haven't lost my focus. I have adjusted it. Not from clear to blurry, but from blurry to clear. 'Wouldn't that be good,' you ask, 'to start seeing clearer?' Not the way I see it. ha. 'See it'. Get it? You see (get it?), I have adjusted my vision (goals, intentions, plans) in such a way that my vision (goals, intentions, plans) were clear. But I may just have been headed in the wrong direction with my 20/20 vision. It's better to have blurry vision and face the right direction, I think. Forgive me as this get confusing. At least with blurry vision, you're headed in the right direction. And you are forced to seek help. I don't think God intends on give us a prescription for that 20/20 vision. Then we would just put on a new set of glasses and start walking whatever way suits us best. This whole analogy works great in my head, but it's a little convoluted in black & white text. My point...I think...is this. Head in the right direction. Walk with Someone who knows the best way. Adjust your focus to keep the faith alive. Trust.

This is somewhat of a needed understanding of God's ways for me. Usually when a 'needed' realization of God's ways strikes me, it sucks. And it is once again true. I thought I was headed in the right direction all along. Maybe I'll be put back on that path in the future, hopefully a little more blindly next time.

letting go.

Thanks Coldplay.

The Hardest Part

And the hardest part
Was letting go not taking part
It's the hardest part
And the strangest thing
Was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the clouds
Oh, and I,
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go not taking part
You really broke my heart
And I tried to sing
But I couldn't think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
Silver lining the cloud
Oh, and I,
Oh, and I,
I wonder what it's all about
I wonder what it's all about

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do it just comes undone
And everything is torn apart
Oh and that's the hardest part
That's the hardest part
Yeah, that's the hardest part
That's the hardest part

Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.