blind faith.

I have trust issues with God (have I said that before?). As much as I know He has my best intentions in mind, it's hard to accept that, especially when my own intentions seem so perfect...or good. Ha. Therein lies the problem, Watson. Okay, I know Sherlock never said that but that whole 'therein' threw me off so I had to make up for it with something. My intentions are just that...my intentions. Which means that it is me who is putting the effort forth because I have led myself to believe that it will be my work that will accomplish my goals. And in that moment...whether that moment is 1 second, 1 day, 1 year...or 1 year and 4 months...I have lost my focus. No, I haven't lost my focus. I have adjusted it. Not from clear to blurry, but from blurry to clear. 'Wouldn't that be good,' you ask, 'to start seeing clearer?' Not the way I see it. ha. 'See it'. Get it? You see (get it?), I have adjusted my vision (goals, intentions, plans) in such a way that my vision (goals, intentions, plans) were clear. But I may just have been headed in the wrong direction with my 20/20 vision. It's better to have blurry vision and face the right direction, I think. Forgive me as this get confusing. At least with blurry vision, you're headed in the right direction. And you are forced to seek help. I don't think God intends on give us a prescription for that 20/20 vision. Then we would just put on a new set of glasses and start walking whatever way suits us best. This whole analogy works great in my head, but it's a little convoluted in black & white text. My point...I think...is this. Head in the right direction. Walk with Someone who knows the best way. Adjust your focus to keep the faith alive. Trust.

This is somewhat of a needed understanding of God's ways for me. Usually when a 'needed' realization of God's ways strikes me, it sucks. And it is once again true. I thought I was headed in the right direction all along. Maybe I'll be put back on that path in the future, hopefully a little more blindly next time.